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alone

there are so many things i want you to know

so many things i wish i could say

so many words that i know you will never hear

you do something to me i can't explain..

i get all warm and tingly inside whenever you're near

but those feelings are gone..

along with my heart..

which has been yours from the very start..

you ripped it out..

and started messin around

you say you like me

but those three words im beginning to doubt

where are you when i need you the most..

when i need someone to talk to..

or when i cry..

you're only there when you need something from me

if you want my kiss..

if you want my love

you come in and make me fall for you all over again

then when you've had enough

you leave me alone

without so much as a goodbye

i try to be strong

to go with the flow..

but its hard to convince myself that this is right..

when i know inside that its wrong..

you say we're just friends..

and that nothing should happen..

then you say you love me..

that you want me forever

i dont understand

and i know i never will..

but i've taken your hand..

and i let you leave me hanging...

never knowing when you'll come to save me..

but sometimes you never come..

and im left to climb to safety by myself..

but i can't..

i keep falling back down, down..

never escaping the place im in..

until you come and lift me up..

then let me fall.

alone.

cleaning.

sitting.

procrastination..

thinking.

well then..

oh really?

yeah..

sometimes..

thats cool..

i guess..

uhm..

fuck... im supposed to be cleaning my room..

oh... well... you might want to do that..

no... i dont.. but i will..

bye?

no.. not bye. you see.. im not actually talking to you.. im more talking to myself.. so... you see, it is not good bye.. for i am you, and you are me

Change

You're becoming someone I no longer know...
Disrupting the freindship, that should forever grow...
When I look into your eyes, they only bring pain...
No longer the comfort that used to fall like rain..
Your heart, has turned to ice...
It scares away all, but the three blind mice..
Why can't we go back to the time of rainbows and bubbles?
Why must we be in the time of worries, and troubles...
Your smile to scream Hope, trust and love!"
Now all it screams, is "more lust and blood...."
You're becomeing someone nobody knows...
Scratching at our hearts.. like the icy snow...
Why can't you see...
That this is not who you are supposed to be...
What happened to the days, of hugging and giggles?
Why are they replaced, with ones of crying, and chills...
Gone is the girl, that...kisses and hugs...
In her place is a girl, who pushes, and shoves...
The smile she wears is fake...
She just doesn't want us to know..
That our hearts are at stake....
Your becoming someone I no longer know...

blah

Blah.
A big glob of blah.
Blah is not a word that deserves Haha.
No, blah is a muchmore serious matter,
One to talk about with the Mad Hatter.
Blah is a favorite word of mine...
I savor the flavor,
Like a sharp red wine.
Blah is not a piece of fruit,
Blah is not wooden, like a musical flute.
Blah has much more magic, than Harry Potter's wand,
Blah has the power to creat a little puddle, or a shallow pond.
Blah is not a good role modle for the small, and the meek,
But blah is perfect for those who adventures seek.
As you might have already guessed,
I'm being very sarcastic.
But blah is actually QUITE magestic.
It's not a word that deserves Haha.
No, Blah is a much more serious matter..
And seeing as we just discused this wondrous word,
I could quite possibly be, the mentioned Mad Hatter.

you and me

If you're the trees,
Can I be the leaves?
If you're the ocean,
I'll be the sand.
When we play, I'll be the lady,
And you can kiss my hand.
If you ask me to dance,
I'll blush and say just maybe.
I'll be the bride,
You can be the groom,
As we parade around in our to big clothes..
When you go home,
Can I come too?
I can't live without you,
Cuz you and me..
We are friends forever you see.

the one

didn't know who i was looking for...
till i heard bout you, and i knew i needed more..
will you be my white knight?
upon your fiery steed..
Late at night I think of what i need..
ive lost sleep.. thinkin bout how we could be...
Your so perfect...
at least for me..
so baby, baby, why can't you see...
that your the one i need..
i want to be the one...
underneath the sun..
with you so happy...
i wish that we could be...
swimmin in the sea...
with the fishes so free..
swimmin with dolphins...
laughing with bummbbee bees...
watering our potted rocks..
knitting stripped socks...
i think that your the one...
all bubbly...
random, and funn...
didn't know who i was looking for..

where'd you go

You're scared...
I can tell by the way you say my name..
Running... Running..
You reach me, and fall into my arms..
You hate playing the Hide And Seek game..
I hold you...talk to you..
Till you calm down..
We lay on the ground, looking up at the stars..
We talk about the Moon, Venus, and mars..
Neither of us really want to grow up..
But we know we have too..
So we make it last... every word...
Every whisper..
Every kiss... every hug....
Before we have to become teenagers again...
We stop and pretend..
That we are little kids..running through the sand..
We fall to the floor...in a pile of blankets...
Laughing...getting all tangled up...
Suddenly.. we get quiet....
Did you hear that? you ask me...
I get freaked out... but you start to giggle..
I feel stupid.. but you make it better.. by smiling your amazing smile...
I wish we never had to leave our fantasy world...
But its almost dawn...
You start to fade...
You cling to me... to maybe stay a little while longer.....
I start to cry...
You kiss away my tears.. as you start to slide by...
I'll see you again someday, you say to ease the pain...
But will i ever really see the real you again?
Sometime i think i feel you in the rain...
I wish, I wish... upon a star..
But i have never seen you...
Not even from afar...
Were you just a dream?
Or were you really there...
Running through the sand..
Playing with my hair??
I suppose i should go to bed soon..
But i want to be sure...
That i dont miss a single second..
Of this life that is a blur...
The hours seem to whiz by...
Like a bee in the sky...
Maybe tomorrow night..
Right before the light...
I'll find you in my happy place...
So i can see you, face to face.

why

Why do we fight..
Why do we seem to cry...
Tears of pain, not tears of joy..
Why is the sky gray....
Unless I see your face...
Why can't it always be blue...
If only you knew...
That things don't have to be this way..
We can laugh.. and cry and play...
Without sadly walking away...
At the end of the day...
Why can't we just be friends...
Before we start this all over again...
Why do the birdies only sing..
When we are outside on the swings...
Why don't they sing, when we are fighting..
Can they hear the angry words...
Do they feel sad for us..
Because we are to blind to see..
That the love between us..
Will always be the next best thing after potted rocks...
And dolphins in the sea...
Why do we talk.. for hours and hours..
And then slam down the phone..
When we disagree..
Why do the old people.. look at us funny..
When we sit by them on the train..
And talk about crazy things...
Like lemon clouds and orange flavored rain...
I hate the looks they give me..
When i start to cry....
The looks of pity...and sympathy..
The kind you give to people who's friends have died...
Why do you give me roses...
Then you want them back..
Only to rip off the petals..
And give me back the stems....
Why do we do this.. day after day....
Why don't we think ahead..and say no way...
Why don't you see what i see...
That you are beautiful in every way...
I know your friends tell you, that im the best you've ever had...
Do you believe them..
Or am I just another friend...
I think i love you..
Why is this happening to me...
I know you're the one..
But you just seem to be in it for the fun...
Why do we float on clouds...
Down the stream...
Why do we just sleep..
When we could dream silly dreams..
About you and me...
And purple and red bumble bees..
I'm writing this poem.. just for you..
So when you read it I hope you know..
That its for you..and not for me..
That its for us..and not for them..
Why do they think they know everything about us..
When really only we do, and the driver of our magic school bus...
So when you read this.. i hope you know...
That the next time we go to a fireworks show..
Lets be friends...so we can hug and laugh at the end...
Why does this poem want to go on and on..
When i want it to end..
Does that mean...that i have lots to say..
Or does it mean.. that this feeling will never go away...
Either way... I think its time for me to go...
So if you're reading this...
Tell me what you think...
You're always in my head...
Right now... and forever always..
But I think i should say night night..

never look back

Have you ever been the odd one out...?
The freak.. the nerd... does it make you want to shout?
I know the feeling...
The one of rejection.. and doubt..
But someone once told me..
That i am awesome from my snaringly daring hair,
To my sniggley wiggley toes..
I believe them....
Just wanted to let you know..
That you are not alone..
You are not the only pushed into stereotypes..
By the ones you hate the most...
They just don't understand...
How it feels to be truly happy...
They take it out on the weak ones...
Making everyone else feel like shit...
When really, they are the ones that feel like shit..
So dont feel to bad..
If they make you really mad...
Just remember.. maybe all they need is a hug...
I know its hard... trust me... i do...
But try and understand how they are feeling to..
You don't have to..
Just try and walk in their shoes for a moment..
And think about all i have told you....
There is someone out there..
Who actually does care...
And will make you happy...
Who will make you laugh...
And when they come..
Keep going, and never look back.

love

Being in love.. is like being on a swing..
You're up..you're down..
Sometimes the sky is blue...
Then others there are clouds all around..
Friends are good to have around..
For when your heart falls to the ground...
They pick up the pieces...
An kiss all the places that hurt..
When you're up... and flying high..
You prolly wanna kiss this special guy...
He makes you feel so special and hot...
And tells you're sexy.. even when you think you're not..
A friends love is the kind to cherish..
A boys love.. with most likely perish...
It's gone like the wind some might say...
Even if you hope it will return some day..
You wait, and you dream...
You cry and you scream....
Screaming the name of the one you love...
As you watch him fly away.. like a peaceful dove..
His eyes... his smile... you wish he could stay a while...
But hes gone... forever..
He floated away.. like a feather...
Always out of your grasp...
He loves you..
He loves you not...
This is why i say love is like swinging...
You never really know...
What the weather will be bringing..

not the one

I know you're poison..
But you feel so good...
I know you're wrong..
But you feel so right..
People say im better than you..
But how can i be better than the best..
People say that you're not good..
But you're the one i want..
You're the one i need..
So why does my heart feel the need..
The need to cry..
To scream, to die...
But at the same time.. it feels the need...
The need to sing, to laugh.. to smile..
The only thing i really want, is to have you for a while..
Even though you make my cry..
You make me break..you make me want to die..
People tell me your just a guy..
And no guy should make me cry..
My friends said you were amazing..
Perfect in every single way..
Until that day when i found out..
Now things will never be the same...
I thought i had it all figured out..
But i guess i was wrong when it came to you..
I never thought the day would come..
When i would say you're not the one..
But that day has come and gone...
And its time for me to say..
You're not the one.

i hate that i hurt you

I hate that I hurt you…
In so many ways…
I hate that I love you…
And cause you so much pain…
I hate all the nasty words…
All the crazy moods…
That come and go like an ocean tide…
The crashing waves…
Mix with your salty tears…
As you cry silently so I can’t hear…
I wish that we could be like Harold and Maude…
So different, but still the same…
I hate that we never talk…
Or draw on the sidewalk with chalk…
We only sing songs of pain…
Songs of death…
Never songs about happy things…
Like love, or life…
Or swinging on swings…
In this world that we live in…
Happiness is a useless wish…
Instead you should wish for a puppy…
Or a pair of roller skates…
I hate that I hurt you…
And that I can never heal the pain…
You say my apologies are unneeded and lame…
You say it is no ones fault….
And I should not be blamed…
I hate that I love you…
In all the ways but one…
The way you need the most…
You need to be the only one…

we are the same

Do you feel all alone..
In a room full of people..
Have you ever known the truth...
But still have it sting when its spoken..
Do you act like you're fine..
So that people won't ask you whats wrong..
Have you not known what to say...
But be dying to say something..
Do you not want to speak..
But crave to be listened to..
Have you felt the need to sing..
But instead started to cry..
Do you ever want to talk to someone..
But haven't because the fear of being ignored..
Is greater than the desire to be noticed..
If all of these are true..
Then you are me..
And I am you..

one, last, dance

I knew from the moment i saw you...
That we would cause trouble..
Both of us loved someone else..
But we still loved each other..
In this way, we caused pain..
Yet in this way..we made everyone happy..
As we danced..
I saw our loved ones..
Talking to each other...
Talking about us...
When will they begin
To love again...
This dance has me spinning in circles..
I never know when we are done..
Are we going to continue this crazy dance?
Risking all we have...
Every comfort we have ever known..
Will be ripped from our hands...
Or will we finish...
With a graceful bow...
This my love..
Is all that i ask...
Will we love until we die...
Or is this dance our last...

everybody wants to be somebody, but nobody wants to be themselves..

I wish that I could be her
If it meant that you would love me
But looking at her pictures
I know that it will never be
Because she is so beautiful
In every single way,
I know that shes the one you see
When you're dreamin' in the day.
Every once in'a while
You make me smile,
But inside my heart breaks
'Cause I know in my soul
Shes the one you wanna date.

deleted mess

you asked me about my status..
whos it about you wanted to know..
i wanted to scream and shout
and tell you that it was about you..
but i didn't.. i held it in..
because we were in a library..
so all i did was grin...
i know this is so Cliché..
but i've said it a bunch anyway
that even if we sit in silence..
its good enough for me...
because in my life...
through thick and thin..
you're everything i need..